Bators: Who They Are and Why This Male Subculture Continues to Grow in Mexico

In recent years, the term “bator” has begun to appear more frequently in conversations about male sexuality, pleasure, and new forms of connection between men. For some, it may seem confusing or even controversial, but the reality is that it represents a subculture with its own identity, one that continues to expand in different parts of the world—including Mexico.

In this article, we explore who bators are, how they understand pleasure between men, and why spaces like BajaBators are generating growing interest both inside and outside the LGBTQ+ community.

What Does It Mean to Be a Bator?

The term bator comes from the English word masturbator and refers to men who find pleasure in shared intimacy with other men, generally without penetration. This characteristic is essential to understanding how many bators define themselves.

According to glossaries and references cited on platforms such as Grindr, bators are men who may feel intimate attraction toward other men but do not necessarily identify as gay, bisexual, or pansexual. For them, the focus is not on labels, but on the experience itself: the body, closeness, complicity, and shared pleasure.

A Subculture Built on Trust and Camaraderie

What distinguishes bators from other expressions of male sexuality is the emphasis on trust and brotherhood. In many bator spaces, the experience revolves around being together, sharing the moment, and creating an environment where there is no pressure to fit into traditional roles.

This perspective has led some therapists and specialists—such as Joe Kort—to explain the bator phenomenon as an experience that blends elements of voyeurism, exhibition, and emotional connection, without necessarily involving romance or emotional attachment.

A phrase often repeated within this subculture summarizes it well:“Among men we know what we like, but among bators, pleasure reaches another level. Intimacy, trust, and complicity open new ways to enjoy sexuality without penetration.”

Only Gay Men? Diversity Within the Bator World

One of the most common questions is whether bators are gay men. The short answer is: not necessarily.

Many bator spaces include men of different orientations: gay, bisexual, hetero-curious, or men who simply choose not to label themselves. What unites them is not identity, but a shared interest in an intimate experience without judgment and with clear boundaries.

This explains why some men who consider themselves heterosexual may also feel curious about these spaces. It is not about romantic relationships, but about pleasure, presence, and exploration.

BajaBators: A Local Experience with Its Own Identity

In Baja California Sur, BajaBators emerges as a proposal that embraces these principles and adapts them to a local context, with special care given to three core values:

• Respect

• Discretion

• Consent

Events such as the Reunión de Jale y Mame are designed as private experiences for men, where the priority is to create a safe, clean, and controlled environment in which each participant decides how and to what extent they want to interact.

Rather than a conventional party, BajaBators positions itself as a male social space, where activities like Strip Poker and casual interaction serve as a way to break the ice and strengthen camaraderie.

Beyond Morbo: Understanding Before Judging

As with many non-traditional expressions of sexuality, the bator world often provokes mixed reactions. However, approaching this subculture from an informative perspective reveals that it is not about shock value, but about a different way of experiencing male intimacy.

Bators exist, grow, and organize because they respond to a real need: men seeking spaces of connection, pleasure, and authenticity, without the expectations or labels that often exist in other environments.

Had You Heard of the Term “Bator”?

Is this way of connecting between men familiar to you, or completely new?The conversation remains open, and spaces like BajaBators are part of how male diversity continues to evolve in Mexico.